Why?

Why is a question we all ask all of the time. Why now, why me, why them, why, why, why? Basically my mind has been reeling a million different why based questions the past few weeks. Life seemed like it was going so great, well obviously Heavenly Father needed to awaken me. Make me focus my life more on his gospel than on myself. I know that I easily get caught up in whatever I want, and usually I need it right at that very moment. Recently a big change in my life has happened. My parents and I decided to take me off of my medication for bipolar. I wasn't the biggest fan, and was super scared. Well in the past few weeks I have learned just how strong I am, and that I can overcome my disability with the help of Christ, and my family and friends who are closest to me.

One big thing that happened is a person who I worked with, was hit by a car while riding her longboard. Now I did not know her very well, but I do know just how deep my passion for longboarding runs through me. Longboarding is my escape from the things haunting me, or just takes me out for a moment to think through life. Well in that instance I was reminded just how dangerous riding can be, and how no matter how safe you are life will and can throw the unexpected at you. She was given less than a 5% chance of survival, well she is alive, beat the odds, and has quite the recovery ahead of her. My heart aches knowing that she is in pain, and who knows if she will ever get on a longboard again. It tears at me knowing that others who enjoy what I love to do might not ever be able to find joy in such things again. I know Heavenly Father allowed me to meet her because she was living her life just like he wanted. She was always positive, and I never saw her expressing a negative attitude. One of her close friends posted that she absolutely loved the talk by Joseph B. Worthlin "Come What May, and Love It". I had to go and read it because, I wanted to know what helped her be so happy all of the time. Well if you live your life with the motto of "Come what may, and Love it" there isn't a reason to be unhappy. The biggest points in it were to learn to find humor in all situations, if you can laugh then you aren't focused on the negative, and the other point was to seek for the eternal. If we seek for the eternal then we definitely are doing what Heavenly Father wants because all he wants is us to return to him.

One other thing that happened that same week was a boy who was close to those around me, and I had associated with only because of my sister was close to him was hit by a car while walking to an appointment on his mission. Sadly he was killed in this accident. I didn't know how to feel. Mostly I wanted to know why Heavenly Father would allow that to happen to one of his disciples. This boy lived to help others, and to make others around him laugh. He was just another one of those people everyone wanted to be around. Well I spent a lot of time thinking about why such things could happen. It came down to Heavenly Father needed him back for something so great we can't even begin to comprehend it. Also that this boy was so good that he was ready to return home, and that he was ready to move on to bigger and better things. We might not understand why these things happen to such good people, but we can find comfort in knowing that they are with our Father in Heaven and that everything is going to be alright.

I have been questioning lots of other things, but in church today I learned that I need to forgive, and not let the things of the world affect how I am feeling. I am never going to understand why things happen when they happen. I do know that I can look back on all these experiences one day and see why. Russel M. Nelson's talk in the October 2013 General Conference was the talk I chose to read this morning. One thing I really liked that is he said is "Freedom from self-slavery is true liberation!" We are our greatest setbacks in life, no one is harsher or holds us back as much as ourselves. I know that I tear myself apart for small things that I should let slide, and that in my pursuit to progress in life I forget about the present. That quote was a wonderful reminder that we need to not enslave ourselves, that we need to live free and depend on the Lord.  Patience is key in this life, and there is no way we can succeed without letting the Lord do his thing.

 "Patience means accepting that which cannot be changed and facing it with courage, grace, and faith." -President Uchtdorf (Continue in Patience)

That is my very favorite definition of patience. I am the least patient person ever, and if you know me then you know that it is true. I need things to happen exactly when they are said to happen or right now. I don't do well with the in between stuff. We all need to go out in this world and be courageous, full of grace and with all the faith we can find. I know that if we are living our lives in line with the gospel of Christ we are going to succeed and be happy. When life gets us down, we need to turn to our Savior in Heaven and to make sure we are living our lives the way they should be. When we get off course is when we struggle the most. I know without a doubt that our Heavenly Father wants us to be happy, and that when we are following the Great Plan of Happiness we aren't struggling. Satan is the one who is causing all the grief, pain, heartache and negative feelings we have. Heavenly Father really loves each and every one of us, and we need to constantly show our love to him. We cannot fail with Heavenly Father on our side, he is our biggest cheerleader and won't ever leave us as long as we are letting him into our hearts. Don't ever forget to talk to our Heavenly Father when life is getting you down, or when life is going great.

I wouldn't get through anything without
my pal right by my side